Last week I described what I call the fog of false assumptions. You can see what that means and why I’m concerned about it here. In a nutshell, I mean there are many false, unquestioned beliefs in our society that blind us from seeing that the good news of Jesus is even good news. So now the task over the next several months is to identify those unchallenged assumptions and think about how to get ourselves and others to question them.
See You Next Week. I have now had the privilege of working with individuals fighting their way through highly volatile marriages, crippling and suicidal depression, financial ruin, just to name a few. And I’ve only been a pastor for two and half years! Inevitably, somewhere in the process, something positive will happen to one of these people. Suddenly, the marriage seems a lot better. A sudden revelation came and the depression fades. In excitement the individual comes to me explaining the thrilling new turn life has taken. “I’m changed,” they say, “Everything is different.” I smile, tell them how excited I am, and then think to myself, “See you next week.”
I’m Alright. The next week comes, and they are back, bewildered and troubled. The problem isn’t gone, and they aren’t changed. Generally, the experience they had was real and helpful, but they had one fatal flaw in their hope. They failed to recognize just how messy they actually are. They were operating under the assumption that basically I’m alright. Now no one thinks they are completely alright. “We’re human,” we like to say. But our problems are pedestrian, more like a midwest town after a bad wind storm. Tree down here, some shingles off the roof there, but all in all not too bad. We’ve never stopped to think that maybe are problems are more like New Orleans after Katrina. The rebuilding won’t take months, but years, even a whole life time.
The Bad News. Sadly, without realizing our messiness, we just won’t get the gospel. After all, what sense does it make for God to enter history in flesh and be slaughtered for our pedestrian problems. A radical act of salvation implies a radical problem to be saved from.
The Good News? Fortunately, we are not without ample material to convince individuals of their messiness. Their relationships are broken, they repeatedly make self-destructive choices, everybody around them is aware of some major changes they need to make. Should be an easy sell, right? Yeah, well it’s not. The problem is that much of our significance is built upon what we think about ourselves. Even the most rational man can’t rationally conclude that he is a mess. He’d rather go with his gut, and his gut is crying out, “You’re okay. You have to be okay. If you’re not okay, then what are going to do? What hope do you have?”
What We Need. So what we need is a way to cut through this self-preserving assumption. To help ourselves and others to see that coming to terms with our messiness isn’t the end of hope; it’s the beginning. But that will have to wait until next time. In the meantime, any ideas?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
What if one was to lie and say they are "alright" (even though they are jumping in & out of depression) in order to keep people at a distance because letting others know the truth will cause alot of damage? The old saying goes, "nobody wants to be a downer" (so in order to blind others from their miserable truth they simply lie & put on a "im-doing-good" smile..pretend happiness can be good for you too right?
You've been a pastor for only 2 & a half years & you have already experienced such situations--you must be some pastor!
Anonymous,
1) Not sure what "damage" you are talking about causing with your admission that you are not alright. I think the gospel tells us that none of us are okay. Real joy doesn't come to us because we are, but because Jesus more than makes up for our messiness. Putting on a good face, it seems to me, is more likely to cause damage. You end up perpetuating the idea that being alright is the norm (which it is not), and thus lead others to live in hidden despair. If you start talking about your struggles (not blaming others for them, which I know is easy to do), you might be surprised by how many people share them.
2) I kind of doubt whether pretend happiness ever does anybody good. For one, I don't know too many people who fake happiness that well. I know quite a few who think they do, but everyone knows they are struggling. Usually, it's just a futile effort in self-deception.
3) I'm not a great pastor. I just pastor real people. Real people have lots of problems. Many times we don't know that because everybody acts alright, and we are all too busy putting on a show of "alrightness" ourselves that we don't notice how obviously not alright others are.
1) I though with jesus we are (in theory-ish) we are always alright? Are you sure sharing your struggles is a good idea...? Usually when one's "shares" a problem with another; quite often the individual/sharer is looked at/treated differently because of the problem that they shared--i know very few people that are truly helpful, encouraging, & comforting in times of suffering/need..maybe said sharer just wanted help or for somebody to listen or care instead of being treated like a murderer for "sharing" a problem.
2) self-deception can (sometimes) be good for you--It's better to believe that thinks are alright then live life like your a rotten sinner--it is called "the positive outlook approach" example: your friends use you to further themselves, i know that sounds bad, but in theory you helped them get ahead.
3) don't downplay God's work through you! you obviously work with messed up people A) it sounds like you don't enable them in their sin B) Your faith hasn't allowed you to shatter under the pressure of the sins of others (as mentioned in your blog post) You appear to have a non-legalistic heart in a legalistic society(your open to new ideas & change) Finally, after reading your blog post's you have given me the impression that you genuinely care about your ENTIRE church--which I don't see often enough, I see pastors that give up on their people because it takes too much effort to help them
Anonymous,
3) Thanks for the encouragement.
1) You are right. With Jesus we are always alright. But only because of him. We are still a mess. We are only okay because he is great enough and has done enough in his life, death and resurrection to clean us up. I know what you mean that many people aren't very helpful when you share problems. I'm not saying to share struggles with everyone. But we all should have close friends who can hear our problems and help rather than judge.
2) Do you really mean that self-deception can be okay? Clarification: The good news that we are miserable sinners isn't meant to make us miserable. It's good news because Jesus loves us, died for us, and forgives us anyway. A Christian doesn't have to pretend he isn't all that bad. He can know that he is a mess and still have joy because he is forgiven. Pretending that you aren't so bad in hopes that you'll forget about it and be happy sounds like a losing strategy to me. Kind of like admitting defeat but pretending there is victory. But the gospel is that there really is victory even when we feel like there is defeat. I also don't think helping people who are just using you is self-deception, or at least it doesn't have to be. You can let them use you out of love without deceiving yourself.
Post a Comment