Ecclesiastes 7:25-29

"I turned my heart to know and to search out and to seek wisdom and the scheme of things, and to know the wickedness of folly and the foolishness that is madness. And I find something more bitter than death: the woman whose heart is snares and nets, and whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God escapes her, but the sinner is taken by her. Behold, this is what I found, says the Preacher, while adding one thing to another to find the scheme of things— which my soul has sought repeatedly, but I have not found. One man among a thousand I found, but a woman among all these I have not found. See, this alone I found, that God made man upright, but they have sought out many schemes." (Ecclesiastes 7:25-29, ESV)

This passage may sound like a piece of ancient, patriarchal, anti-woman rhetoric, but a closer look may reveal something a bit different. First, observe that although the Preacher says he did not find “one woman among a thousand,” he also says that among the thousand he only found one man (not the best odds). So the paraphrase is: “You’re lucky to find a good man, and you’re even luckier to find a good woman. I’ve found one good friend, but I have yet to find a good wife.”

Secondly, a little cultural background might be helpful. In ancient culture, a man didn’t have women friends. When you searched for a woman, as the Preacher says he has, you are searching for a wife. What guides the search? Women were often seen as pieces of property for sexual pleasure and the production of children (especially sons). The Preacher is suggesting that there is more to a wife than looks and fertility. In fact, beauty could be nothing more than fetters and snares if the character of the woman is not upright. This reality is “more bitter than death,” because a man longs for, even needs a good wife. Often, though, he searches in vain. Thus, the Preacher’s comments are actually a bit more progressive than first glance might indicate. Women are people not property. Thus, they should not be pursued just for their function, but for their character. A culture that puts a such a premium on function inevitably leads to the neglect of character, not only by male pursuers but by the women themselves. I think this is what the Preacher is suggesting when he ends by lamenting mankind’s fall from uprightness to many “schemes.” He does not place the blame on women, but upon “man.” The joy of romantic love has been perverted, and thus robbed of much of its value.

The ancient culture may seem oppressive and unseemly in comparison with modern standards. But have we really come that far? Our obsession with sex inevitably results in valuing function over person, external beauty over character. We search for (or at least fantasize about) the best sex partners rather than for the best life partner. Relationships are robed of intellectual and emotional intimacy in favor of genital stimulation. And the result . . . a good woman is still difficult to find. I don’t blame women, though, at least not mainly. After all, when the size of your breasts beats beauty of your character, how much attention are going to give to character?